It's interesting to reflect on how my creative process has evolved over the years. I was always intrigued by art, but growing up, I was never particularly encouraged to explore it. My older brother was the creative one—he took art classes throughout high school, while I leaned toward office technology classes. I was drawn to graphics, though, and I remember the thrill of playing Mario Paint on my cousin's Super Nintendo during the summers. I could spend hours experimenting with colors and textures, fascinated by the ability to erase, redraw, and create something entirely new.
That fascination carried into high school. I took a computer class where we used Microsoft Paint during our downtime. This was back when Windows 95 was the latest technology—yes, I’m a proud Gen Xer. My interest in computers and the emerging internet only grew as I entered college. But my creativity wasn't just digital. I also enjoyed designing programs and layouts, like the one I created for our senior play. That project was one of my first tangible experiences in visual creativity.
Stepping into Art
Although my brother was the one with paints and watercolors, I occasionally sketched. One memory that stands out was a drawing of David Bowie I copied from a magazine. I was proud of it, but I never thought of myself as an artist. When I pursued a journalism degree in college, I needed two minors and chose psychology and art. Studying art was transformative. It pushed me in ways I hadn’t been challenged before. Learning about technique, color, and form opened my eyes to the nuances of artistic expression. I began to see color differently—noticing highlights, shadows, and reflections in a way I hadn’t before.
Art as an Escape
During those early college years, I was in an abusive marriage. My days were marked by bruises, slaps, and fear. Simultaneously, I was grieving the loss of my mother to ovarian cancer. The pain was overwhelming, and I turned to poetry and art as my refuge. Drawing mindlessly on a blank sheet of paper became my escape. Each mark on the page was a release—an unspoken expression of the trauma I couldn't verbalize. Art gave me the space to grieve, to reflect, and to survive.
Evolution Through Creativity
As I healed and grew, my art evolved. I became bolder, both in my choices and in my self-expression. Taking a Corel Painter class was a pivotal moment. The digital medium allowed me to warp, distort, and explore new boundaries. Unlike my earlier works, which sometimes felt restrained, this new form of digital creation felt liberating. I didn’t intentionally channel my emotions; instead, they flowed naturally onto the canvas. The result was often a reflection of my inner world—a glimpse into my soul.
My subconscious imagery stands in contrast to the botanical work I create. I grew up surrounded by nature, and those memories bring warmth and comfort. While my abstract and subconscious pieces explore the complexities of my emotions, my botanical works feel like a grounding force, reconnecting me to the beauty and peace of my past.
Embracing the Dark and the Light
There’s often a tendency to suppress dark emotions, but I believe in the importance of giving them space. Creating art allows me to release those feelings, to confront them, and ultimately to find healing. It’s not always a conscious decision—more often, it’s an intuitive process. Every brushstroke, every digital manipulation, becomes a part of that release.
Through it all, art has been my therapy. It has carried me through loss, trauma, and healing. And now, as I continue my journey as an artist, I hope that my work resonates with others, offering a reminder that even in the darkest moments, there is a way to express, to heal, and to create something beautiful.
